What Time Is Left

Short Synopsis

Filmmaker Dakin Henderson, age 24, grew up with two grandmothers who have aged very differently—one is a healthy and active 86-year old, the other died recently after a long and painful decline into dementia. From the perspective of the youngest generation, What Time Is Left is a personal story of how three generations of one family are coping with the process of their loved elders growing old and dying.

Description/Treatment

Both of my grandmothers—Polly Moffett and Edie Gieg—helped shape the closeness of my family, for which I am blessed. But as I grew up, I saw each of them follow two completely different paths through old age. Edie is 86 and still going strong: her days are full of events, get-togethers, and activities. Polly, on the other hand, suffered a long and slow decline into dementia, finally passing away recently at age 84. Polly spent the last 5 years of her life in the same continuing care elderly community in New Hampshire that Edie lives in, along with two of Edie’s sisters and Polly’s brother-in-law.

What Time Is Left is an intimate story of the choices families face as their loved elders age. The film follows my family as our relationships are affected by Edie’s firm decision to maintain control of her last years, and the lead-up to and repercussions of Polly’s death. My parents, aunts, and uncles are coming to terms with the aging and death of their parents—and their own mortality—in dramatically different ways, and not always in concert with each other. I am recently out of college, and the concept of aging is totally different for me than it is for my parents.

Polly’s dementia crept up on my family. Just before I went to high school, she was diagnosed with an aphasia that inhibited her ability to speak. Any attempts to go over her last wishes were confounded by her difficulty communicating and the steady slide into dementia. For the last 5 years or so before her death, Polly’s care—and decline—was in the hands of her children. For years she hung on to life in a completely dependent state, unable to speak, move, or respond to visits. Before she died, her children had to interpret her final wishes by relying on their memories, best intentions and her sparse Living Will.

Edie on the other hand is determined to maintain control of what will happen when her good health and cognition finally fail. ‘I have written it all down in a great deal of detail’, says Edie as she itemizes the elaborate and precise advanced directives she’s developed. Her determination to maintain dignity and independence to the end is so strong that she has traveled to visit all of her 5 children—spread out along the east coast—to make sure they are clear on her last wishes. She has even taken to speaking to professional caregivers on the subject.

Intimate with the family drama is Dr. Dennis McCullough, the geriatrician who took care of Edie’s late husband Charley, and whom Edie has designated family advisor when she becomes ill. McCullough lives in Vermont with his wife Pam, a poet. He is the picture of a traditional family doctor—one could imagine him trudging through a New England winter storm, bearded and ruddy cheeked, making house calls. Dennis himself faced his own medical crisis several years ago—a debilitating autoimmune condition that crippled him for several years. During this period, he reflected on his practice treating aging patients and wrote My Mother, Your Mother—now a widely read book urging families to adopt an approach he calls ‘slow medicine’ for their elders. ‘It’s not depressing’, Dennis observes. ‘Most older people know what’s best for them. And it’s what we all want: a dignified end to our lives. The way we practice medicine, though, often makes that very difficult to achieve.’ <!--[endif]-->

What Time Is Left will be grounded in the wisdom of Dennis McCullough and his idea of ‘slow medicine’, but the story will be my own. Through the conversations I have with my family and friends like Dr. McCullough, the film will capture how relationships within my family grow and change with the passing of an aging generation. The viewer will experience the story from the perspective of my own generation, as we prepare to inherit the future.

Themes

My family is not alone in facing difficult end of life issues. In America, the population of people over 80 is the single largest-growing age group, soon to be joined by seventy-seven million Baby Boomers. Modern medicine allows us to live longer, but also presents us with increasingly complicated decisions. Many families are overwhelmed by and unprepared for these decisions. While our medical system may be successful at solving acute health issues and prolonging life, it doesn’t do as well when final decline sets in. ‘Slow medicine’ offers a radically new and compassionate perspective.

‘Slow medicine’ is a simple concept, but one that is difficult to implement. Ask yourself the question: what would you do if your ninety-year-old mother’s cardiologist recommended a coronary bypass or valve replacement to ‘cure’ her failing heart? ‘Slow medicine’ would urge you to step back, not leap to aggressive medical interventions; to listen to your parent as he or she makes a decision—if they are able; weigh the larger factors; take it ‘slow’. In a culture accustomed to ‘action’, taking it slow is an act of rebellion—but one that may save an elder’s dignity and peace.